David Cameron is, of course, leader of the Conservative Party, and has led the party to a resurgence in popularity amongst the credulous general public - and at the moment, partly due to Cameron’s work “modernising” the party, but partly due to the government being inept, it is looking increasingly terrifyingly likely that the Tories will be forming the next government. And anyone who increases the chances of Tories winning power is an Enemy of the People.

Taking power in the Conservative Party, Cameron has gained popularity by moving his party to the centre - which isn’t difficult when the “old” Conservative Party front bench featured the likes of Ann Widdecombe. This has hidden the fact that there still are a lot of the old Nasty Party on the backbenches of the Conservative party: Mark Pritchard and Nadine Dorries to name two. They’ll feature on here soon, no doubt.

The most irritating thing about Cameron though, aside from his plastic face, is his inability to utter anything but platitudes - in one of his party conference speeches, he set himself apart from Labour and the other parties by saying that “All families do a vital job, and they all need our support.” and that he’s for “Improving our environment and quality of life.” - shocking stuff, and diametrically opposed to Labour’s “split up families and shit on the environment” policies, and offering a nice counter to the new Clause 4 of the Labour Party consitution, that aims to “reduce quality of life”. Cough.

And besides all this, David Cameron has (allegedly) smoked Cannabis - whereas I haven’t. This means that the impossible has happened: the leader of the Conservative Party is actually cooler than I am.

Picture credit: here.

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